Icky Chicks

I hate celebrities who suffer under the delusion that a modicum of fame means that their liberal political opinions are eagerly sought after by the world at large (sadly, nowadays this means that I hate a LOT of celebrities). I also hate country music (not just a lot of it, ALL of it). Both of these antipathies are conveniently combined in Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks, who during a London concert in 2003 pontificated, “Just so you know, we’re ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas.” Oh Natalie, Natalie, didn’t your mother teach you that shamelessly pandering to the anti-American sentiments of a foreign audience is naughty, and liable to result in fans using your CDs as kindling?

Now the Dixie Chicks are coming out with a new album, entitled DESPERATELY SEEKING PUBLICITY … um, I mean TAKING THE LONG WAY HOME, which includes a “controversial” new song penned by Maines called “Not Ready To Make Nice”, commenting on the brouhaha caused by her previous outburst. Here is a sample of the lyrics:

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Parts of this hackneyed tripe-fest sound like they were machine-translated from Serbo-Croatian (“Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should”), despite the fact that Maines had the help of a co-writer, Dan Wilson, formerly of Semisonic. God only knows what she would have produced on her own; I’m guessing it would have gone something like this:

Bush bad
Me not like
Want to run him over
With my trike
Pay attention to me me me me me me me
Man I could go for some pork rinds right about now
Bush bad

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